….Party Trolley gives a (Safe) Wild Night on the Town
by Scott Kearnan

For most of my college existence, the …(Original) Party Trolley & Party Bus was nothing more than an urban legend, undergraduate folklore told around bars instead of campfires. The story went something like this: An unsuspecting co-ed is sitting by the window at her favorite watering hole, numbing final exam pains with nachos and buffalo wings, when: Thud, thud, thud. The vibrations send her beer quivering inside its bottle. Is a T-Rex about to lower one bouldery eye to stare inside? Is it the terrifying footsteps of a serial killer with a hook for a hand? No: It’s booming bass that precedes the arrival of the mysterious Party Trolley. It glides into view outside the bar, and the awestruck patrons stare in wonder. Why, this Trolley is pimped out with a disco ball, black lights, strobes and fog machines! High energy dance music fills the streets while drunken fools dance around inside! They’re wearing Mardi Gras beads! They’re grinding with poles! Our dazed heroine only has time to mutter four words to her drinking buddy: Conitune